It’s been a rough 2 days.  We dropped our little one off at daycare for the first time on Monday, which also happened to be her 5 month birthday so basically it was all, “Happy Birthday Siona! For your birthday, we’ll be dropping you off at daycare to spend the day with strangers, which basically means we’ve dropped you off to get pink-eye and to hang with strangers. Happy birthday! YAY!”  UGH.

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You’re taking me where? Oh crap.

It was hard.  It was the hardest thing I’ve done in a very long time.  I felt a sense of loss all day long that I hadn’t felt since I lost my grandfather two years ago.  If you’ve never dropped off your tiny one at daycare before then I get that it’s possible you’re thinking I’m being a drama queen but I’m telling you, it was the pits.  The worst.  After the hubby and I somewhat regained our composure after having a complete emotional break down shedding some tears, he went to work and I went to work and then I proceeded to cry every hour until roughly 2PM, when I think I just got too dang tired to cry.  I know on my previous post I got all deep on your tushies with my, ‘we found peace in daycare’ but Lord have mercy, I had no idea it would be this hard.  And you know what? You just have to feel it.  I let it all out.  I mean I’m sure some of my students saw me crying (even though I tried really really hard to only cry in the privacy of my friends’ offices or the bathroom or my own office) and even my boss offered to give me the rest of the day off and I almost went for it.  I pictured walking over to the JCC (it’s also our first foray into ‘organized’Jewish education–I can’t wait for the popsicle stick “baby Moses basket” for Pesach art projects and the finger painted challah covers), picking Siona up and running for the hills foot-loose and fancy free but alas, I said no.  I just had to rip the band aid.  I spent weeks and weeks dreading yesterday that there was something of a relief in just getting through the dang thing already.  Like, OK, we did it. We dropped off this tiny person who is the love of our life to complete strangers and then we went about our day.  It sucked so hard but we did it. Yay for us . . . I guess?

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Ahhh The Berenstein Bears—-everyone’s favorite Jewish bear family.

I gotta tell ya though, picking her up is amazing.  I get giddy. I can only liken it to the feeling you get when you’re first falling in love and you can’t wait to see that person and every time you do your heart beats a little faster and your adrenaline is pumping? You know what I mean? It’s like that. It’s this amazing little present that’s purely mine at the end of a crazy work day.  I’m gonna try extra super hard to focus on the positives of all of this.  Unsolicited advice from me to you—do not focus on the hours you don’t get to spend with your little one or any loved one.  Instead, focus on when you do get to see them.  One of the things that was so heart-breaking at first was counting the hours I could actually get to spend with her (and no, not because I had to do math and “add”) because what the hell did that get me but sadness.  You just can’t go there.  So instead, the hubby and I made an agreement when we got home yesterday afternoon that we weren’t going to focus on that kind of stuff but instead on how we spend the time when we are together.  This is life people.  We are not independently wealthy (damn it!), we still haven’t won the lottery (damn it!) so this is our new reality.  We better shape up and deal with it or our family time is going to be spent wallowing and who wants to be around that? Certainly not me.

On top of everything else I’m trying to cut back on sugar and carbs.  I mean, what the hell? I’m having one the most emotional weeks of my life and I decide to cut back on sugar and carbs. What the h*#& was I thinking? At one point on Monday afternoon I was this close to offering up grade changes for my students in exchange for any and all of their contraband candy.  I’m a pretty ethical school counselor, yes indeedy.

As a result of this ban on carbs I made pasta with spaghetti squash.  It was my first time delving into spaghetti squash and I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to cook with.  See below.

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Inside the spaghetti squash

Spaghetti Squash “Pasta” with Garden Vegetable Sauce

What?

1 Spaghetti squash
1 Zucchini, coarsely chopped
1/4 C Olive oil
1 C Onion, coarsely chopped
4 Garlic cloves, minced
5 Carrots, coarsely chopped
1 Green pepper, coarsely chopped
2 Cans crushed tomatoes (or prepared marinara sauce)
1 tbsp salt
1 1/2 tsp black pepper
2 tsp dried parsley flakes
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp dried basil
1 tsp dried thyme

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How’s That Now?

1. Preheat oven to 375.

2. Cut spaghetti squash in half, brush tops with olive oil and place cut-side down on baking sheet.  Place in over for 45 minutes.

3.  While spaghetti squash cooks, in a large saucepan or medium stock pot, heat olive oil over medium heat for two minutes. Add in the onion, garlic, peppers, carrots and zucchini. Cook until onions turn translucent and vegetables start to soften, about 5-8 minutes, stirring occasionally.

4. Increase temperature to medium-high. Add tomatoes and spices. Stir to combine. Bring mixture to a boil stirring occasionally. When sauce reaches a boil, reduce heat to medium-low and allow to simmer for the rest of the time the spaghetti squash cooks. The longer you let it simmer the fewer chunks there will be.  Season with spices to your taste. Stir occasionally to prevent any sticking to the bottom of the pan.

5. Once spaghetti squash is finished, let cool for a few minutes and then fork out onto plate. Top  with sauce.  I also recommend adding some feta to top it all off.  Enjoy!

Spaghetti squash--looks like pasta but doesn't taste like pasta

Spaghetti squash–looks like pasta but doesn’t taste like pasta

I have to be honest, this does not taste like pasta.  Do not be fooled. It only LOOKs like pasta.  Do not go in thinking this will taste like pasta cause it just won’t.  Also, just a heads up, this is a GREAT way to get your pasta fill during Pesach without having to pretend you like potato pasta.

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Each year, at some point around Winter Break, my husband and I make a Moses like pilgrimage to Southern Florida.  I like to call it our trip to the Promised Land.  When you live in Chicago there is no clearer way to see evidence of Gd than to leave a 3 degree place and arrive in a 75 degree place, so there is no better name for our trip.  No we aren’t independently wealthy.  We’re just incredibly lucky.  My man’s parents have a time share and each year the entire family rushes down for a few days of sitting by the pool, marathon movie trips and eating like we’re in a contest at the county fair.  Each year I end up finding something that I’m newly obsessed with food wise.  For the last several years it has been garlic rolls.  Weird, right?  This year though something new happened.  I accidentally tried Pasta e Fagioli.

I’m sorry, what did you call me?

Pasta e Fagioli.  It’s pronounced (at least in the States) Pasta Vadjool.

Pasta e Fagioli Soup.  Have you heard of it?  It means Pasta and Beans.  Wikipedia tells me that it’s an old Italian peasant dish.  You guys, that is my very favorite thing.  Poor folks are resourceful.  I mean, aren’t we??  They make delicious and easy food.  Especially poor folks from the past, who also happened to be Italian.  Like, dang, give me a break.

Anywho.  I had the soup a couple times at different Italian restaurants in the Promised Land (ie Southern Florida).  I decided that my goal when I got back to Chicago would be to figure out how to make this magical soup so that I could share it with you…and my little family.

I’m going to take a moment and brag.  I’m getting pretty good at improvising recipes.  I’m at least getting a little brave.  When I looked up the recipe for Pasta e Fagioli Soup in various recipes in books and online what I saw made me tired.  Fry bacon fat?  No.  Fry fat back and mash it into a mush.  NO!  What follows is my improvised version of a Mario Batali recipe.

What:

2 medium Spanish Onions

3 teaspoons of minced Garlic

1 6 oz can Tomato Paste

2 quarts Chicken Stock (8 cups…or if you’re me…4 regular sized cans)

2 cans White Beans (I’m not fancy I use cans)

1 can Red Kidney Beans

1 can Rotel (y’all know I’m Southern, right?)

2 cups of cooked pasta (I used Ditalini)

What:

Chop the onions small or large depending on how you prefer onion in your soup and fry with a little Olive Oil in a Dutch Oven.  Don’t freak about the amount of oil here.  You want to make sure that all of this onion will cook and not burn so add more as needed but don’t get crazy.  Fry the onion until it’s tender and translucent.  This will take 8 – 10 minutes.  Give a dash or 5 of Salt and Pepper to flavor the onion.  While your pan is still hot add the can of Tomato Paste and stir around in the onion until the pasted is mixed throughout.  Cook this for 3 or 4 minutes.  Toss in the garlic and let that cook with the tomato and onion mixture for a few minutes more (3-5).  Your house should be smelling incredible at this point.  Add your chicken stock and beans and bring to a boil.  Reduce the heat and let the soup simmer for about 20 to 30 minutes stirring occasionally so that your beans don’t stick to the bottom of the pan and burn.  Now, with the pasta you have two options.  You can cook it separately and add it in to the soup for a wetter soup or you can toss the dry pasta in to your pot and let it cook with everything else for a thicker consistency.  Either way is fine.  Since I’m Southern and I add Rotel to just about everything I tossed in a can of Rotel to add a tiny bit of spice to the mix.  I also threw in a teaspoon of Italian Seasoning.

This soup will freak you out it’s so good.  I hope you enjoy!

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Has this ever happened to you? You have a baby, you are sent home from the hospital with said baby and then for several weeks you wonder aloud, “So, when are this child’s parents coming to pick up their baby?”  No? Just me?

Our baby is starting school on Monday.  Yes it’s really daycare but they have a curriculum.  We toured the place again on Thursday and the Director asked us if we wanted to go through their curriculum and in my head I thought to myself, “Wait, curriculum? Don’t you just make sure they’re fed, happy and rested?”  And then it hit me, this is our child’s first step into school.  She’s going out there in the world without us.  She’s going to meet other kids and make little art projects and we’re going to be invited to parent-teacher conferences.  Now, granted the first year or so will focus on her poop and nap schedule development but seriously, this parent thing is getting real!

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They don’t call it the ‘happy baby’ pose in yoga for nothing.

So rather than freak out, yet again, this shabbat we tried to focus—-focus on the fact that we’re not sending our 5 month old off to baby boarding school but to daycare.  We still get our little love back every night and of course, on the most important day–shabbat.  We focused on answering those important kosher questions like, ‘what age are we going to have to start caring about Siona eating meat after milk? What will our stance be when she inevitably tries a cheeseburger? Will we stop eating dairy at non-kosher restaurants because it could be confusing or maybe it’ll ease the kosher thing as it could be less restrictive-feeling?’  We have some answers and some we’ll have to wait and see how our family life evolves as it’s easy to be kosher in Miami, but not so easy in a city like Raleigh-Durham (it’s on our short list).  Regardless, my ability to give a poop about some of the parenting things I gave a poop about for the last 5 months has most definitely decreased.  I’ve come to terms and even found peace in the fact that our baby is a formula baby. I’ve found peace in the fact that I have to work full time in order to help provide for my family.  There’s just no time or even brain space for holding on to that stuff because dang it, no one’s coming to pick up that baby.  She’s ours and thank Gd for that.

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Talk about multi-tasking

This week’s recipe is a staple on our shabbat table.  It’s often requested when our friends, the Whislers come over, and it’s soooo easy.  One of the biggest changes will be the fact that the hubbs will still be at work when I need to be cooking for dinner.  I’ll probably have to just suck it up and do the majority of my cooking the night before, which will SERIOUSLY get in the way of my 8:30 bed time.  But, in the end, it might save my sanity.

Roasted Cauliflower with Tehina

What!?

2 heads of cauliflower1/2 cup of tehina (recipe below)
Olive oil
Kosher salt
Pepper
Garlic powder
Tumeric
Parsley and cilantro for garnish

For the Tehina:
1/2 cup of sesame paste
1/2 juice of lemon (or more depending on your taste)
Dash of kosher salt
Dash of garlic powder
Hot water to thin tehina

*Add all tehina ingredients EXCEPT water to a deep bowl and stir.  Slowly add the hot water until desired consistency.  You want it to be pourable but not runny.  Season to taste.

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How’s That Now!?

When you’re working with cauliflower in a kosher kitchen, you want to soak your cauliflower for several hours in hot water with a little salt at the bottom. 

Pre-heat oven to 400.  Once cauliflower have been soaked, chop so that the pieces are a decent size as they will shrink in the oven.  Spread chopped cauliflower on the baking sheet and drizzle with olive oil.  Sprinkle with kosher salt, pepper, garlic powder and tumeric. Bake cauliflower for 45 minutes or so making sure to toss every 15 minutes or so.

Drizzle roasted cauliflower with tehina right before serving.  Top with chopped parsley and cilantro for garnish

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